Hopes And Dreams

Posted: February 3, 2020 in Meditations
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Donna gave me a thermos of coffee, Bill opened the door, I headed to my car in the pitch of night. My wife called less than an hour earlier. She went into labor and would meet me at the hospital. My mind whirred with excitement, this was our fourth child and my first girl. In less than twenty-four hours I would say hello to my daughter for the first time. I’m one of five siblings, the only boy. I watched firsthand the unique precious bond that exists between a girl and her daddy. Now I had the opportunity to nurture that unique bond between a daughter and her father. “Lord, help me to be the dad I need to be, the dad she deserves to have.” That prayer was real. I wanted to be the best dad, I wanted to measure up, I just wasn’t confident on the execution. One thing I did have, I had hopes and dreams for every one of my kids and I was willing to do most anything to make that happen.

Twenty years later, my little baby is now a young woman with a thirst for life. She has been to Japan, Germany, and just returned from two weeks in Uganda. Each time she leaves, I pray, “Make her world a little bigger. Give her your eyes, Lord. Give her your heart.” My daughter is bright and alive, she harbors great dreams in medicine. Daddy sees a beautiful swan growing into her destiny. The world is her oyster. Again, I pray, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”  Proverbs 4:23  This world is violent, filled with evil treachery. “My daughter, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life to you.”  Proverbs 3:21,22  Lord , may she seek your face, may she abide in your word. Let this prayer roll from her lips, “I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,  and in his word I put my hope.”  Psalm 130:5  I place my daughter on the altar of the Most High God. As much as I love her, I am a trustee, God must be her first love.

I may be a trustee, but I have hopes, hopes and desires for my children that surely cross the line. God knows. One of my sons is a lawyer, a brilliant mind with a silver tongue. Others see a successful partner in a prestigious law firm. I see a preacher, evangelist, a powerful apologist for the Gospel. Another son is marketing maven. I see an elder in the church who took no shortcuts in life and now mentors young men and guides churches to the glory of God. My oldest son drives a passion that few understand in the field of medicine. I see missions, urban health, an extension of God’s hand of grace to the powerless. My daughter wants to see the world; I want to send her to the world with global health initiatives immersed in the cause of Christ. These are wonderful dreams, my Lord hears them all the time from me. But they belong to God. His hopes, his dreams for my children are what matter.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  Romans 8:28  God has specific hopes and dreams for each one of my children. It unfolds in their lives as it unfolds in mine, day by day, moment by moment. “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain.”  Psalm 127:1  Our purpose is found in surrender, our mandates are given in faithfulness, our peace and joy are experienced in obedience. Confidence, boldness, fearlessness issue from the new life within. We know that we know, we exist to build God’s kingdom, we exist to express the gifts he has endowed us with, we live to spread the gospel in word and deed. Paul said, “I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith first to last, just as it is written: ‘The righteous will live by faith.'”  Romans 1:16,17  To my sons and daughter, pursue God with a whole heart. He is the source of your hopes and dreams. Be bold, in the end, Christ is all that matters.

Face to Face

Posted: January 31, 2020 in Meditations

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A young military boy worked alone in a darkened photography studio. The son of a Pentecostal preacher, the oldest of eleven siblings: he stood at a crossroads in his life. He asked himself the fundamental question, “Is the God of my childhood real? God, are you really here? I need a sign. Show me who you are.” In that moment, a presence made itself known. The hair stood up on the young man’s neck. He felt the press of something other- than on his entire being. The presence intensified. He feared for his life. “Back off, God. Enough. I can’t take anymore.” The presence lifted. He knew in that moment he had just come face to face with the essence of God, the essence theologians call, “Holiness.” Glen Brown’s life changed forever.

In Genesis 32, Jacob returns to his home country many years after a personal treachery. He stole his brother’s rightful birthright, the blessing of a sick blind father intended for his twin brother Esau. His own name, “deceiver”, betrays his character. And the mighty brother Esau awaits. He asks himself, “Will he kill me? He is coming to meet me with four hundred men.” Jacob sends the others across the river. That night he camps alone. He confronts a man and they struggle through the night, neither can subdue the other. The stranger touches Jacob’s hip and throws it out of joint, still Jacob will not let go. “I will not let you go until you bless me.” The stranger replies, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome.” Jacob knew what he didn’t know early that night. “So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, ‘It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.’ ” Jacob’s life changed forever.

Glen pursued God with a whole heart. He is forever my father’s hero. You see, Glen is my uncle. He served God as a pastor, a Navy Chaplain, a missionary, a philanthropist. Most important to me, he loved me. He invested in me best he knew how and that wasn’t the easiest. I was a gifted young man with elusive deficits. Some of us require a longer journey upon the road of sanctification. But he loved me, never condemned me, and he taught me so much by his disciplined example. I rarely open a commentary or my Greek Testament without the image flashing in my brain of my uncle at his desk. I often check in with the memories of my uncle when I confront sin. Glen was fearless without being mean. Glen passed away at the age of 89. I listened to him say goodbye to his sisters the day before he died. Death interrupted another missionary journey to the Ukraine. He taught me my most important lesson in death, service to the Great God never ends.

“But now you have been set free from sin and become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.”  Romans 6:22  Holiness is much more than a collection of good deeds. It connotes communion with the divine presence of Almighty God.  God’s essence, the Holy Spirit, abides in and with us. This, my friends, is our first taste of heaven. Do you know this intimacy, have you sensed the holiness of presence? It forever changed my uncle’s life. It marked a new defining chapter in Jacob’s life. That presence continues to transform my life. I am consumed with my sense of service to God. I thrill to be his slave. A life well lived leaves a legacy, a forward momentum that cannot be fully appreciated until heaven welcomes us. Glen’s legacy lives in my heart. That life changing face to face with God in a darkened photography studio changed my life as well. So again, be bold, seek his face. In the end, Christ is all that matters.

Kobe: Redemption, Purpose

Posted: January 28, 2020 in Meditations

 

“No man has the power over the wind to contain it; so no one has the power over the day of his death.”   Ecclesiastes 8:8

Sunday, January 26, 2020, Kobe Bryant died in a helicopter crash, nine dead, no survivors. A text, moments before our annual church business meeting, broke the news, my heart froze. I looked around, nobody knew, but I did. I silently prayed for the victims’ families. “No one can comprehend what goes on under the sun. Despite all his efforts to search it out, man cannot discover its meaning.”  Ecclesiastes 8:17  I shuddered at images of unimaginable grief and all I could say was, “Holy Spirit, love them. Angels of heaven, gather round them. Family and friends, hold them.”

The world grieved. The internet exploded with condolences and tributes. Tragedy has a peculiar way with our hearts and minds when it visits our immortals. Time freezes, every nuance of our surroundings in that moment forever etched in our memory. My mind wanders to the second floor hallway at Roosevelt Elementary School. I was in the fourth grade, November 22, 1963. Jimmy Wojahn went home for lunch that day and as soon as he saw me he said, “President Kennedy got shot.” Within the hour, Principal Bremburger announced, “President Kennedy is dead.”  Most of us live life like we are never going to die. Alan Alda once joked, “I know I’m going to die, just not in my lifetime.” At 41 years old, Kobe reigned at the peak of his powers. An icon on the court, Kobe now plied his genius to a multi billion dollar business empire. Great parents, four daughters and a beautiful wife graced his life. Future horizons shined bright. No fear, no limits: who dared to doubt Kobe’s will to win? And now he is gone. If death snatched the great Kobe Bryant, what of us?

” ‘Meaningless! Meaningless!’ says the Teacher. ‘Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.’ ”  Ecclesiastes 1:2

Kobe, at the age of 25, ruled the basketball world. The athleticism, the work ethic, the will to win, the thirst to dominate: Kobe Bryant stood upon an Olympus of his own making. Only Kobe can speak to his heart at the moment secret sin exploded upon a very public world. The consequences of sin detonated everything Kobe held sacred. In that moment, Kobe faced the loss of integrity, the loss of his marriage. He stood alone, scared out of his mind, 25 years in prison as a sex offender loomed as a real threat. By his own admission, he had walked away from God. In desperation, he now ran to the cross. He never looked back. With God’s help, he rebuilt his relationships, reconciled with his wife. Kobe opened his heart, his time, and his pocketbook to the service of others. He found favor in the eyes of God.

“Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.”  Ecclesiastes 12;13

Life is meaningless without God. That is the message of Ecclesiastes. Kobe’s death rocked all of our worlds. He lived life with an intensity few of us will ever know. And now he is gone, but we live. How will we respond to life on this day, in this moment? Have you fallen asleep at the wheel of life? Have you forgotten the God who created you, who loves you, who desires relationship with you? Jesus said to John in a vision, “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.”  Revelation 3:20  Kobe Bryant confessed his sin in the darkest hour and found redemption. “Naked a man comes from his mother’s womb, and as he comes, so he departs.”  Ecclesiastes 5:15

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There are no second class citizens in the kingdom of heaven. Jesus extends his hand, “Come.” He offers redemption. Be bold, do the right thing. In the end, Christ is all that matters.

The Face of God

Posted: January 26, 2020 in Meditations
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Sixty years ago a young boy scratched out his school lessons in the red dirt of equatorial Africa. His home was a rural town, the tribe’s pride and identity exuded from the elephants that roamed their land. Its people worked hard, their loyalty to each other ran deep. Mom and Dad had nominal educations but harbored big dreams for their children. The young boy grew into a young man’s body. He was bright, at sixteen he carried ambition and dreams. “Father, I’ve been offered a good job in the big city. I can work and go to the community college.” Father paused, “No, son, wait. As long as you have a chance at going to the national university, wait.” In a country of over 40 million people, only 1000 students got accepted into the university each year, most with connections to privilege. The young man’s chances were slim at best yet Dad said, “Wait”. This simple family knew one important detail, the God of the Bible makes the impossible possible.

Years of hard work and a precocious mind paid off. A young man from hard scrabble town received an acceptance letter from the university. His scores, prodigious by any standard, were forwarded to the best universities in America. He got offers from Yale, Harvard, Stanford, and Johns Hopkins. He chose Johns Hopkins. Today, this father of six is one of the foremost medical research scientists in the world. Many of our genetic breakthroughs originated from his research in his laboratories. Who knew? God knew.

Last year I sat at a large dinner celebration for a wedding. A young lady was wheeled in by her parents and parked at the adjoining table. I knew immediately that this precious daughter had never walked and never talked. She seemed oblivious to her surroundings, the eyes vacant. The Holy Spirit grabbed hold of my heart. I did not see a severely disabled child, I saw the face of God. I saw the sacredness of life, I felt the accountability for my own life, a life breathed into existence to glorify my creator, the Great God, Infinite Goodness. I saw in this young girl my future. I prayed this prayer, “Lord, someday, when this child and myself serve you in heaven, let me do an assignment with this girl and let her lead the way.” I saw what God sees. No matter how we are compromised in the eyes of man, we are never compromised in the eyes of God.

“Philip went to look for Nathaniel and told him, ‘We have found the very person Moses and the prophets wrote about! His name is Jesus, the son of Joseph from Nazareth.’ ‘Nazareth!’ exclaimed Nathaniel. ‘Can anything good come from Nazareth?’ ”  John 1:45,46  Nathaniel is no different from us. We judge others all the time. You went to Yale? You must be a smarty. Grew up in the slums of Baltimore, the backwater of equatorial Africa? Nobody of note is going to know your name. You have a child with profound challenges? Glad I’m not you. You get the point. We make snap judgments about the worth of individuals everyday. Jesus got “Nazareth” and “the carpenter’s son” label hung on him day in and day out. Jesus shared a parable in which the righteous were given their reward. The righteous were a bit confused and asked, “Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go visit you?” The King answered, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.”  Matthew 25:37-40

Every individual is sacred unto God. I recently talked to a seventeen year old Hispanic girl who has been verbally abused. I said, “Love in our hearts is so crucial. Never surrender your heart to hate. Sometimes it is so difficult to see the face of God in others because of the warp of evil. ” Apart from God’s work in our heart, we will fail to see beyond the warp of evil, whether it be our heart or their heart. John wrote, “Dear friends, since God loved us, we  also ought to love one another.”  1 John 4:11  Jesus showed us the way, he affirmed the face of God in all of us. He loved us, he died for us. Now love others. Don’t measure worth, don’t give in to prejudice and hurt. Love, affirm, invest, all to the glory of God. Be bold, in the end, Christ is all that matters.

Eve Of Destruction

Posted: January 22, 2020 in Meditations

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A Soviet Union bomber took off from an isolated military airbase north of the Arctic Circle on October 30, 1961. A small crew led by pilot Andrei Durnovtsev said little. Today was no ordinary day. The plane carried one bomb, a bomb so big the entire plane had to be completely retrofitted to house and release the weapon. 26 feet long, 7 feet wide, the “tsar bomba” weighed in excess of 50 tons. Remember the devastation of Hiroshima and Nagasaki that halted World War 2? Multiply the combined release of energy of those two atomic bombs by 1,570 and you get the equivalent energy release of this singular bomb. The crew said little because they expected to die on this flight. Soviet physicists gave the crew an optimistic 50% chance of surviving the blast. The bomb detonated at 30 miles and the shock wave hit them at 71 miles. Flying at 35,000 feet, the fireball scorched the plane. The crew survived but not without a harrowing instant free fall of one kilometer and a smashing shudder to the plane.

Everything within a 34 mile radius of the bomb blast was utterly destroyed. Stone buildings 62 miles away lost their roofs. Windowpanes broke up to 560 miles away. The estimated energy yield exceeded the yield of all conventional weapons used in World War 2 by ten times. Andrei Sakharov designed this “layered cake” hydrogen bomb to be a clean bomb, minimal radioactive fallout. Yet today, the bombsite still cannot be inhabited by man. Nobody will live on this island in my lifetime.

Sakharov abandoned a career in weaponry, largely the result of this bomb test. “I will not pursue self immolation.” Andrei Sakharov sacrificed his future to fight the madness of man’s race to destruction. But what have we learned since 1961? China, France, Russia, United Kingdom, United States, India, Pakistan, North Korea: all have verified nuclear weapons. Israel remains undeclared. Iran aggressively pursues nuclear weapons. Now the arsenal of man reaches to space, the new frontier. Who will dominate? Who crosses the line? Where? When? And for what?

Energy, in many ways, is the visible essence of God. Building blocks of the universe inspire awe and every year unveils more secrets. The applications of energy cast heavenly dreams on one hand and our worst nightmare on the other. The economic welfare of whole nations is sacrificed today in order to hold weapons of mass destruction, and for what? To feel safe? No, the argument boils down to this, “If you are going to destroy me, I am going to get my pound of flesh.” Nations seek to ensure that any existential victories will be pyrrhic victories. Nuclear weapons declare the depravity of man. Platitudes and treaties cannot shadow lurking arsenals. Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn said, “Men have forgotten God: that’s why all this has happened.”

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” Matthew 7:13-14  Man is who he is. William Golding, in Lord of the Flies, says, “Maybe there is a beast…maybe it’s only us.”  How many people cling to the childlike illusion of John Lennon’s “Imagine”? How many of us refuse to acknowledge the madness we live in? How many of us have forgotten God? Folks, run to Jesus. You are created by and for him; he is the only solution to our depravity. Christ is who he says he is. Be bold, no regrets, do the right thing. In the end, Christ is all that matters.

Real Freedom

Posted: January 15, 2020 in Meditations
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You may be a preacher with your spiritual pride
You may be a city councilman taking bribes on the side
You may be workin’ in a barbershop, you may know how to cut hair
You may be somebody’s mistress, may be somebody’s heir

But you’re gonna have to serve somebody, yes
You’re gonna have to serve somebody
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you’re gonna have to serve somebody

Gotta Serve Somebody, by Bob Dylan, hit me like a ton of bricks in 1979. The poetry may be lacking, no classic Dylan metaphors, but that phrase, “you’re gonna have to serve somebody” ate me whole. Freedom and personal liberty are themes that rage in the human soul. Who is boss: the state, the individual, the devil, God? Fundamentally, do I control my own destiny and how will we define what that means? What does Patrick Henry’s vow, “Give me liberty or give me death”, mean today? “Don’t tread on me”, what circumscribes its ominous warning? The libertarian’s demand, “Your business ends at the tip of my nose”, how does it manifest itself in real life? Wars wage over these convictions of man’s soul.

The Apostle Paul opens his letter to the church at Rome with four powerful words, “Paulos doulos Christou ‘Iesou”.  Those words translate, “Paul, a slave of Christ Jesus”. Some translations properly render this, “Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus.” Doulos, “slave”, is the key word that unlocks the genius of Paul’s appellation. Paul is writing, most likely from Corinth in Greece, to the church at Rome. The Roman church is primarily Gentile with a Jewish minority. The classic western mind, particularly Greek, abhors the very thought of being a slave. Aristotle and Plato celebrate the freedom of every man. “I am king of my life; I am the despot who makes the decisions for my life.” The spirit of the Greek and Roman heart ideally bows to no man. Certainly no citizen of the west would freely proclaim themselves to be a slave of anyone or anything. And the spirit of these words live on today without resolution. Why? One bedeviling reality, “it may be the devil or it may be the Lord, but you’re gonna have to serve somebody.”

“If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.” Matthew 10:39  Jesus leads the way to freedom with words that repel the heart of sinful man. I want what I want. I justify my feelings. I demand autonomy, I insist on personal freedom. We rail at God bound by chains we cannot see. Paul says, “Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living.” Romans 6:16  In this paradigm, the total commitment of the slave on the one hand corresponds to the total claim of the Lord on the other. We are unwilling slaves to our own nature. Jesus offers us two choices: death or life, bondage or freedom. “And remember, if you were a slave when the Lord called you, you are now free in the Lord. And if you were free when the Lord called you, you are now a slave in Christ.”  1 Corinthians 7:22  Paul spoke these words to literal slaves and free men.

When I prayed a primitive prayer at the age of 17, “God, if you’re real, please be real in my life”, I surrendered everything of me. I left nothing on the table. I wanted nothing of the chains that bound my spirit. In that moment, I found peace, I found purpose, I found home. Every one of us is created by God and for God. Grab hold of that thought. I treasure these words from Ravi Zacharias, “God has appointed you for this moment in time. Your life has particular value and distinct significance.” Seize your destiny, don’t waste another moment. Proclaim yourself a slave of Christ Jesus. In that moment, you will find real freedom. So be bold, no regrets, do the right thing. In the end, Christ is all that matters.

 

 

 

Bittersweet, A Farewell

Posted: January 12, 2020 in Meditations

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An old friend passed from life to life this past week. His last years did him no favors. Disease, the devolution to death, can be so cruel. My heart aches for his family. Virtually all of us have travailed intimately the death of loved ones. But my heart seeks out the first day I met this man, the conversations, the seasons of prayer, the possibilities of a life dedicated to the service of God. We were young, single, and optimistic. And why not? We served the Great God, the author of the universe, the creator of us.

My friend had it all, or so I thought. A great athlete in high school, he was the marble Adonis in flesh. His voice, sweet and pure, led us in worship. His preaching brought us to the prayer rail. He sought God early in the morning. Praying with him in the darkness of an empty church is something I’ll never forget. We welcomed the man from California. We loved him and he loved us. He never left. Today we bury his body in the earth of Wisconsin.

I called my dad in Florida to break the news. Silence, then Dad spoke, “He was an enigma. I know he loved the Lord.” Dad was right. My friend mirrors a statement from the movie Green Book. “Life can get complicated” My friend did great work for the cause of Christ. I’m sure he inspired thousands to pursue Christ. Sadly, terrible personal decisions shipwrecked his ministry and the well being of his immediate family. Personal demons won too many battles.

Life separated two young men. Years passed but we remained connected. I dismissed rumors about my friend. I lived 600 miles away and I was not going to get involved. Then a distraught call changed everything. It involved family and my friend. Heartsick, I drove all day praying, I was about to confront a friend with sin. The event was painful, thick with angst, filled with love. My friend denied any sin. I begged him never to cross the line again. Two years later, he was removed from ministry for a similar offense. I never stopped loving him.

“They sow the wind and reap the whirlwind.” Hosea 8:7  The devastation of personal sin often wrecks those around us, those we love the most. We call this generational sin, “punishing the children for the sins of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me.” Exodus 20:5  When none of your children serve the God you love? I cannot imagine the pain and regret. But I can pray and hope. I added his wife and the names of his children to my prayer list. Satan doesn’t have to have the last word on sin. My friend is a cautionary tale to all of us. Sin has taken all of us down, we know its effects. But we also have a savior in Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit is our advocate, our difference maker. “The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.” Romans 8:6

I read a powerful essay by Rod Dreyer this week. He said, “Every time we fail to muster the courage to do what is right, what God is calling us to do, there is behind that failure a still deeper failure, a failure to love.” Friends, pursue God with a whole heart. Be bold, do what is right, no regrets. In the end, Christ is all that matters.